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 Healing Through Violent Sex Last year I dated a woman who eventually shared with me that she was molested as a by her Father. She also eventually asked me to play the Daddy role while she sexually roleplayed as my daughter, a young teenager, Covelo milfs xxx new beginnings and friendships The entire situation left me very conflicted; while I enjoy roleplay and I'm kinkier than most I was understandably worried about her reaction. As it turned out it was something of a revelation to her and she used the experience as both a bizarre form of therapy and as the most intense sexual experience I ever witnessed with her. This morning Andrew Sullivan linked to an article on good.is (I'd provide the full link except that it would violate Craigslist's terms of service), briefly excerpted below with the full article at the end of this posting: "Mac McClelland explains how arranging a violent mock-rape helped her overcome her PTSD, which was caused by reporting on rape victims in places in Haiti: I did not enjoy it in the way a person getting screwed normally would. But as it became clear that I could endure it, I started to take deeper breaths. And my mind stayed there, stayed present even when it became painful, even when he suddenly smothered me with a pillow, not to asphyxiate me but so that he didn't break my jaw when he drew his elbow back and slammed his fist into my face. Two, three, xxx times. My body felt devastated but relieved; I'd lost, but survived. After he climbed off me, he gathered me up in his arms. I broke into a thousand pieces on his chest, sobbing so hard that my ribs felt like they were coming loose." I've been thinking about this all afternoon and I'm both curious and a little interested. I imagine a licensed professional would have their own opinions, but what do you think? And for the entire article: It was my research editor who told me it was completely nuts to willingly get fucked at gunpoint. That's what she ed me when I told her the story. We were drunk and in a karaoke bar, so at the time I came up with only a wounded face and a whiny, "I'm not completely nuuuuts!" Upon further consideration, a more explanative response probably would have been something like: Well. You had to be there. "There" would be Haiti, where I'd just spent xxx weeks covering the xxx year anniversary of the earthquake that shook the country into ugly chaos. There, a local regular at my hotel restaurant who is not accustomed to taking no for an answer had gotten desperate. After proposing for the facials, "It's okay, it's okay, shhhh, you're okay." "Being aware and understanding what's going on in your system and then literally working it through your body, like retraining your body how to calm down, is really useful," Meredith says. For many of her traumamarried man seeking discreet fun tonight patients, sex personals laplace it's a long and intense process. And if it goes untreated? "A lot of people don't heal, and it manifests in a lot of different ways throughout their lives. There's a study they did with Vietnam vets who'd had--clearly--a lot of trauma during the war. Twenty years later, they measured their levels of pain before and after they showed them intense footage from Vietnam. Pretty much across the board, after they saw this really intense, violent footage from the war, their levels of pain went down. Because when trauma doesn't get to work itself through your system, your system idles at a heightened state, and so getting more really intense input calms your system down." Which is why, she explains, "A lot of folks who've survived trauma end up being really calm in crisis and freaking out in everyday life." Under the circumstances, violent sex wasn't a matter of recreation for me. It was a way, xxx way, to help get better. "Do you have anyone who can do that for you?" Meredith asked simply. I've got an ex-girlfriend who'd be happy to slap me around for old times' sake, I told her, but I wasn't having rapemares about women. "Isaac," I said. We hadn't slept together in a while, and although we couldn't get along as a couple, we loved and respected each other, blah blah. So here I was making a date to catch up with him over fancy pizza, and then drinking tequila neat. And there I was asking him if this was a sleepover, right?, and being pretty nervous about what my stupid brain was going to do when he got into my bed. As soon as we were making out, my violent feelings started welling up. "I'm gonna need you to fight me on this," I said. * * * We'd done this sort of thing before. But at dinner I'd told him, voice shaking, about my PTSD. This time, the fight would be rougher and the stakes higher. And so he paused. "Okay," he said. "I love you, okay?" I said, I know, okay. And with that he was on me, forcing my arms to my sides, then pinning them over my head, sliding a hand up under my shirt when I couldn't stop him. The control I'd lost made my torso scream with anxiety; I cried out desperately as I kicked myself free. But it didn't matter how many times I managed to knock him over to the other side of the bed. He's got x pounds on me, plus the luxuries of patience and fearlessness. When I got out from under him and started to scramble away, he simply caught me by a leg or an upper arm or my hair and dragged me back. By the time he pinned me by my neck with xxx forearm so I was forced to use both hands to free up space between his elbow and my windpipe, I'd largely exhausted myself. And just like that, I'd lost. It's what I was looking for, of course. But my body--my hard-fighting, adrenaline-drenched body--reacted by exploding into terrible panic. The comforting but debilitating blanket of tension that'd for weeks been wrapped around my chest solidified into a brick. Then the weight of his body, and of the inevitability of my defeat, descended on my ribcage. My worn-out muscles went so taut that they ached. I stopped breathing. I did not enjoy it in the way a person getting screwed normally would. But as it became clear that I could endure it, I started to take deeper breaths. And my mind stayed there, stayed present even when it became painful, even when he suddenly smothered me with a pillow, not to asphyxiate me but so that he didn't break my jaw when he drew his elbow back and slammed his fist into my face. Two, three, xxx times. My body felt devastated but relieved; I'd lost, but survived. After he climbed off me, he gathered me up in his arms. I broke into a thousand pieces on his chest, sobbing so hard that my ribs felt like they were coming loose. In a few months, I'd feel ready to go back to Haiti. It would become pretty rare for a movie rape scene to trigger immediate, whiplash-inducing weeping. The flashbacks and the gagging fits would, for the most part, have ceased. A few months after that, I would report from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where every interview would be about sexual violence or murder, but I would function just fine. I'd see the French peacekeeper again in another country, where his big weight would feel appropriately weighty as I engaged him in absurdly sweet--like, European-earnest--sex. But at the moment, Isaac pulled my hair away from my wet face, repeating over and over and over something that he probably believed but that I had to relearn. "You are so strong," he said. "You are so strong. You are so strong."
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