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RE: "I know you were tired of waiting" I'm not sure if this post is to me, but I guess whatever we want to believe can and will come true to us instantly or over time.. This is xxx of them cases.. Where I read what you wrote, told myself it wasn't to me, carried on with my day.. Came back, had to..read it again.. Thought about it and it became to be my truth, yes that's what I believe. If it's not then don't mind me I'm just simply chasing ghosts again, but if it is.. I'm letting you know..right now I am so tired.. Yes I am.. I'm actually fucking exhausted, I'm tired of thinking..About you and replaying the same end daily routine my brain has stuck on repeat. I'm Trapped in my own head and feel the weight of my broken heart,
fun at 7 tonight and have suffered the consequences since. I know I can let myself free because I hold the key to my own " " to my own made "hell".. But why the fuck.. Or how the fuck could I just do that? I don't want toooooo, I want to stand my ground and wait for you.. That's how I'll be free and I guess if that never happens then I'm fucked and I'll have to accept this life sentence.. Because what's the point of life if I can't have the xxx and only true person I have ever been in love with like I have with you, that's not free that's pure agony and torture. I feel like you're never coming back, but apart of me still wants to believe and oh it's easier that way, but I'm not stupid.. So I suffer day in and day out, I suffer. Is it partially my fault?.. Yes it is. Have I came to trial with my own convictions.. Yes I have and I pleaded guilty every time. I've owned up to what I have done wrong, I have owned up to my fears and have concord them all, except for xxx . And that's getting you to realize that I do love you, that I always have and I always will, I do believe you're my soul mate.. If I had just xxx more chance, xxx more time.. We wouldn't be the ones who got away.. I would become psycho and supper glue our asses together so we couldn't ever leave each other again.. Unless of course you were tired of me, then I may reconsider but probably not. That weekend we took a trip.. I already knew I loved you, I already knew that if push came to shove I wouldn't think twice about spending my life with you. And every since.. I fucking met you.. I've never been the same, and I'm ok with that and every body else who thinks any different can kiss my white ass, I'm further more advanced than that. I would do anything to even be able to sit next to you.. I just wish you realized that and would stop playing hard to get.. Because your absolutely right I used to hate admitting I was wrong, but now I'll straight up tell you, because loosing you has been the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me and I've done nothing but damn near myself endless times over this shit.. And I'm very sorry, if I had to spend the rest of my life making it up to you Imarine on leave lookin for a good time would, Montpelier gay suck hookups but I can't do that if you keep shooting down my attempts and you know I'm not the type to ever do that either so you have to admit I have come along ways.. If you want this to work, you have to let me in..last time you blocked me.. And I haven't been since and I don't know any other way to contact you. You have to come to me now, and I don't care how you do it or how it's done, it could be a mother fucking smoke signal, some morse code type shit and I'll be running, I promise. I've always loved you, I always will.. Sometimes.. For along time, I would have dreams about you and sometimes still do.. I used to think your green eyes haunted me, and even though it hurts after I wake up and reality kicks in..I suffer Down to the very core of my being and feel that without you I don't even know how I exist.. But in some unexplainable way it makes me the most depressed, sick, and mess.. But it also makes me painfully happy to know that if I'll never see you again, At least I've seen you and have got to see you in my dreams. So.. If this is you, please hurry I feel I've waited a life time.. Alto-MI swinger club
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